Remembering "The Squid Squad".

"Squad Squad", you may ask? My high school comrades already know, and the rest of you are fixin' to find out. But first..

An old high school and church friend and I were reminiscing a couple of days ago about our high school days--specifically, how our high school had a "ghetto" reputation to one of the suburban districts, and about my time as the "white knight" on our basketball team. Yes, I was the only white guy, and even though I wasn't very good at the time, I more than earned my spurs as a member of that team--and my then coaches and teammates will back me up on that. Now, I'm getting to the "squid squad" part--so stay with me here!! My teammates and coaches will also tell you that I wasn't known as "white knight". No, my nick name was "Checkmate". Yes, "Checkmate". Why? If you said I played chess, you win a Clark Bar for your trouble. When I was a sophomore, I used to carry a chess set around. One of the coaches saw me with it as I went to dress for practice, laughed at me, and said, "What's up, Checkmate?!". And, it stuck.

Now, the chess players, along with the "nerds"--the guys with the pocket squares, the black-rimmed glasses, and the flood-water pants-- were known at my high school as the "squids". I don't know who came up with it, and I don't know how whoever came up with it. All I know is, like "Checkmate", it stuck. Now, to "The Squid Squad".

Three pretty popular guys did a skit at a pep assembly during my freshman year--they dressed up in, you got it, the pocket squares, the black-rimmed glasses, and the flood-water pants, and did this funky little dance the way that only a "squid" could do it: very little rhythm with a snortily little laugh (think the 1984 movie, "Revenge of the Nerds"). I remember it well. I can even tell you two of the three guys who did the skit (but I won't here--I do so to protect the guilty!). And, I laughed like everybody else did. Why? It was funny! Even though I, to a large degree, was a "squid".

So, why do I bring it up all these years later? Simple. Because even back then, I refused to be labeled, and even turned the tables on other "squids". Back to the basketball thing again: games were on Tuesdays & Friday nights--around 7:30. Well, chess matches--we were in a club league with other high schools from the Tulsa & Oklahoma City areas--were on Tuesday afternoons around 3:30. The basketball coaches allowed me to dress for Tuesday games around 3:15--I would then go play my chess matches in my uniform and warm-ups--my own little "psych-out" drill. You see, the opposing chess players pretty much automatically dismissed me because they thought I was a "jock", but what they didn't know is that I was either the 1st or 2nd-ranked chess player on our team, depending on the week. Needless to say, I pretty much cleaned up with the King & Queen and their court. And why I truly embraced the name, "Checkmate".

So was I worthy of being on "The Squid Squad"? I don't know. I didn't really think about it then, and I don't think about it now, except to laugh at those three guys doing "The Squid Hustle". I will say some of the most accomplished folks in my graduating class were fellow chess team members, and some some pretty accomplished guys were also my teammates on our state championship basketball team. Both experiences made me the man I've become today: not "jock", or "squid" or even "sports guy".

But I do think "Checkmate" has a nice ring to it.

And, so, my trip down "Squid Squad" memory lane is done. For those of you who remember, hide your calculators!!

Joke Department...

Since I really can't think of anything to talk about today, I'll offer up a joke. Some of you have heard it, others have not. Nonetheless, enjoy. And don't ruin the punchline, dernit!

How do you get a little old lady to scream out and F-bomb?













Have another one scream out, "B-I-N-G-O"!!

What If Adam and Eve..

Work with me here.. because this is a big "what if"..

What if Adam and Eve were teenagers when they both engaged in "the original sin"? I'm no bible scholar, but I have read the Genesis story as many times as I am years old (that's at least 45), and it makes no mention of how old they were in Gregorian Calendar years when Eve ate the apple and Adam threw her under the bus that was a couple of thousand years still in the future.

Think about it on a practical level, and it could make some sense, and here's why: think about your teenage years! What were the biggest things we dealt with and teens still deal with right now? 1) Massive hormonal changes; and, 2) peer pressure. Now, let's go back to the Garden of Eden, where--and again, work with me here--we have a couple of pure minded teen-agers who are experiencing mega changes in their bodies, and since there were no other teens, we can--and work with me here again--accept as axiom that the creatures of the garden were "peers". And there you could have it: the serpent basically did what some teens do now to other teens: offered them a cigarette. Or a joint. Or a drink. Or a rumor that wasn't true and told them not to tell anybody, wink-wink. Well, Eve did eat the apple, and Adam ate as well, and now to dust we all shall return.

Is that notion really that far fetched? That the stages we all go through in life are just the normal development of the human being? That we start out selfish and needy as necessity and grow into something more altruistic and agape (the Greek word, not the English meaning your mouth is WIDE open)?

It could be. I'll consider it. And I think you should too. If anything, it'll expand your abstract thinking and might even test--and galvanize--your particular faith.

And, whether or not you agree, thank for for "working with me".

Socialism & Salary Caps..

They're one-in-the same, and that's just not the American way. And that's why on this Memorial Day--a day that's truly ALL-AMERICAN!!!.. I'm going to call out salary caps of any kind as just plain UN-AMERICAN.
I'm not just talking about salary caps in pro sports--I'm going to include the ones proposed by the Obama administration on executive pay as well.
It's very simple, really: capitalism. Yes, capitalism is market driven, and what the market will bear you must pay or somebody else will. The upside of capitalism? The epitome of the "American Dream"--where anybody of any class can work hard, work smart, network, and rise to be anything he/she wants to be and earn ka-jillions. The self-made millionaires and billionaires (does Bill Gates come to mind?) are all the proof you need. The downside? Greed. Just look at our financial system and you have all the proof you need there.
Now to salary caps. In pro sports, they're designed to put a drag on salaries, and in return, the owners "share revenue". The key word there is ARTIFICIAL, and that means the market doesn't determine what one earns. And, folks, you can put that in a tux and tails for guys, and a cocktail dress and heels for the gals, but you strip it down and it's still SOCIALISM, and socialism is just plain UN-AMERICAN.
Now, for those of you who say, "But those players earn way too much to play a kids' game.", and "I should earn as much because I work harder than those athletes do.", I counter, "Their pie of earnings is bigger." Put it this way: suppose you're a teacher, and you knew that there was a $10+ billion dollar pie to divy up for teacher pay, and it turned out that you could earn $1-million for your services-- wouldn't you demand you get that million since you know that's the going rate for your services? You bet you would, and don't lie to yourself--you would. If you knew a million dollars is what the market would bear, you'd insist upon it. Well, athletes are no different--but their pie is just bigger, and in large part, it's bigger because we the public keep buying tickets to their events, watching them on TV, and buying the merchandise they pitch.
Now, to the argument that the players are too rich anyhow, I counter with this: Yes, PLAYERS are RICH, but OWNERS are WEALTHY. Big difference. Players have a small window to earn their millions-the average NFL career is 4-years, for instance. Owners mostly use their franchises for play money. And the owners--with those deep pockets--many who lobby Congress to keep the free market from putting a drag on the money they earn in their respective businesses, then want to put an artificial drag on players' salaries so they won't have to pay the true market value for the players' services, and in return, they share the revenue so that teams in smaller markets with a smaller revenue streams can compete with the big behemoths. Well, let's dress it down to this: the salary caps allows the players to save the owners from themselves, and to hell with the free market. Congress and the president tries that with the owners in their businesses? That'd be like watching a slug in salt water. I have no use for anyone--no matter how wealthy and powerful--to play by one set of rules and then have the rest of us play by another. It's not just, and just plain wrong.
Now, if you can't get past the fact that players (and executives) earn money that most of us only dream about, you've got a closed mind and I'm not going to waste my breath on you--go out and run up your credit cards to the max, finance a vehicle you can't afford, and then buy some lottery tickets--you don't understand economics. For the rest of you, consider the alternative: there was an old saying in the old USSR about what one was paid, "They pretend to pay us, so we pretend to work." Sounds like lethargy to me. Well, that's what salary caps do--create lethargy. And lethargy is un-American, and socialism creates lethargy. Need I say more?
Yes. Stand up for the American way. Reflect on the veterans this Memorial Day, and continue work hard, work smart and network--you might earn a million dollars. Unless someone puts a salary cap on you.

And On the 7th-day...

.. God rested, and this being Sunday, so will I. But, not before whetting your whistle to what's coming tomorrow on Memorial Day!
Yes, Memorial Day is something truly "American", but I'm going to crack on something that is just plain "Un-American", and it's something designed to make life fair, and we all know on some level that life is **not fair**.
Whether you like it or not, "Salary Caps" get whacked in the knees--my All-American reasoning will come tomorrow.

Now That It's Summertime..

Woo-hoo!! Memorial Day Weekend!! School's out, little league baseball's getting going, and the pools all open up for 3-months! With all that in mind, how about some thoughts on the "do's" and dont's" of summertime?

Let's start with the pools. DO spend some time enjoying the heat with some refreshing dips in the water. DON'T be like the guy who wears his speedo and spends more time prancing AROUND the pool instead of swimming in it (but DO snicker to yourself that he has the stones and/or ignorance to do what he does!).

DO wear your sunscreen, because you DON'T want to hear those dreaded words from a doctor in the near or distant future, "You have skin cancer."

And, for parents who have kids in little league baseball and/or softball, DO heed what I have to say about any media coverage your kid may or may not get: I can't speak for the newspaper guys, but from a TV reporter's perspective, please DON'T gripe and complain because your kid doesn't get the coverage you think he/she "deserves". Because truth be told, your kid doesn't "deserve" coverage--no matter how well he/she does or how good his/her team is. "But they work hard", you say. Well, I counter, "So do the kids who are not as good as your kid, and so do the teams who are not as good as your kid's team. They may just not be as good. Tough" We're getting a pretty warped idea of what kids "deserve" and it's this sense of entitlement that's going to set them up for failure when and if they reach adulthood. One of the big reasons you don't see TV coverage of local little league baseball/softball until it gets to district, state or national tourney times is otherwise very simple: You cover one team, you have to cover them all--and with limited staff, that's just not realistic--because somebody will get left out. The same applies to junior high and JV teams--they all work hard, but you can't cover them all, so we don't cover them at all. It's as fair as we can be. Again, you don't like it? Tough. Deal with it.

But every summer, I get angry parents who don't--calling me up griping because I don't show more little league, and even though they can't see me when they call, I'm rolling my eyes and shaking my head. Yes, your kid is special. So is mine. But every other parent thinks his kid is special. So as Seargent Hulka said in the movie "Stripes": "Lighten up, Francis".

And there you go. Enjoy the kickoff weekend of Summertime 2009. Ditch the speedo, chuckle at the guy who doesn't, wear your sunscreen, and leave the TV guys alone when it comes to little league (and continue that in the fall when it comes to JV and junior high sports!). That'll help make it a summer to remember!

Tis the Season.. to Remember.

I once had a boss who loved to hear himself say, "Look at the big picture". I never really liked the guy, but even in some jerks, you can find nuggets of gold, and "the big picture" is what I see upon this Memorial Day weekend.
No, it's not just the 3-days off, it's not just the cookouts and time with family, and it's more than remembering the men and women who served our country--with some of them dying for it--no, if it really has any meaning, it's LIVING it. It's remembering what America the Beautiful is and living to keep it that way. The "big picture" says, to me anyway, to put down my sometimes rigid and narrow views and put myself in the shoes of those who might dissent. Yes, that's hard for some--especially those arch-conservatives who seem to only believe in the "three Ps": their preacher, their pa, and their pundit. It's equally hard for those extreme liberals who won't stand for anything but their right to not stand for anything--and hate conservatives. No, I think Memorial Day weekend is somewhat designed to honor dissent, and here's why: some of those soldiers who died in battle for the red, white and blue might not have had views that agreed with yours, but they died for your right to have them, to voice them, to protest without worry of retaliation of government. THAT is what makes America great. Not Rush, Coulter and Hannity, and certainly not Franken, the New York Times and Stephanie Miller--and the narrow "If you don't believe like I believe, there must be something wrong with you" mentality of the far left & right. But it doesn't start with them, it starts with us. And a good start for you and me would be remembering "The Big Picture" that is America this Memorial Day weekend: Land of the Free (and that includes freedom to dissent), and the Home of the Brave!

The Economy & College Sports.. ka-BOOM!

Yes, ka-BOOM.. as in cuts, cuts, and more cuts, and they're coming to a favorite program near you. The Big 12 athletic directors are mulling cuts during their meetings in Colorado Springs, and there has been at least one major college department that I can recall that lost money last year, and that'd be Ohio State. Yes, THE Ohio State University.
And, the major college "arms race" can't continue forever. In fact, I don't think it can realistically last into the next decade without a major crash in the not-to-distant future. How long can institutions keep jacking up the rates of "personal seat licenses"--better known as PSLs--as well as ticket prices, concessions and/or parking in this economy? I'm gathering that the pro leagues are hedging their bets, with the NFL trimming it's front office personnel by 10-percent late last year, and the other leagues sure to follow suit--no, check that--baseball probably won't because baseball's management hasn't had a clue in years.
Yes, even the colleges are in danger of pricing the regular guy out of a seat. Couple that with big corporations cutting back big-time, and the TV networks also experiencing hard times, and you have a recipe of revenue streams slowing to a trickle--and that might not be a bad thing.
Who knows, it might put big time pro and college athletics back into perspective--something a lot of us heard as kids and we now tell our children: "it's just a game".

Good for "Lefty"!!

Lefty being PGA golfer Phil Mickelson, who won't play on the tour for an indefinite period of time for a very good reason: his wife has breast cancer.
Good for Phil! Evidently, family comes first. Now, he has the luxury of having enough money in the bank to take a lot of time off, but that's hardly the point here. The point is: Phil loves playing golf, gets paid ka-jillions to do it, has sponsors paying him ka-jillions for him to to it, but he'll forgo all of that so he can be with his life partner! I think that says a lot about the character of the guy. There's always another golf tournament, but if you're committed to your marraige--to your spouse--the one you took vows in the presence of God and your closest friends--putting her first is just the right thing to do. We need more of this from the prominent people in our society (we also need it from the not-so-prominent!).

Hey, Pretty Boy..

Heard that new Jets' QB Mark Sanchez will grace "GQ" soon. Evidently, his handlers want to make him a superstar before he's even earned a star in the No Fun League. Hey, Mark--and I'm going to put the responsibility on Mr. Sanchez more than his handlers because he could have said NO to them--why don't you go out and earn your spurs by putting ON a uniform, taking some hits, work for your teammates respect as their leader BEFORE you take your shirt OFF for Gentleman's Quarterly??!! Pretty boy, evidently.
Look, I've been called a "Pretty Boy" by some, so I know what it's like. Yes, I made my living in front of a camera. But I worked my ASS off with my work with a camera on my shoulder for years before and even during my time as a Sports Director on TV. My staff knew they could count on me to do the hard work first and lead by example. Mr. Sanchez? Hasn't even taken a snap. Hasn't even competed for the Jets' starter's job. Hasn't even strapped on the pads! What if you were one of his teammates? One who's equally as talented at one's respective position, who's been in a few NFL wars and has won some and lost some? Would you respect this "pretty boy"? I know I wouldn't.
I wish I knew why "earn" has become such an unspoken dirty word.
Now, if Mr. Sanchez goes out there in OTAs and training camp, competes for his job, and earns his teammates respect as a guy who's one of them and will go to the mat for them in the heat of battle--I won't have a leg to stand on calling him a "pretty boy". I'm just not so sure that's going to happen. He has one year as a starter at USC as the lone skin on his belt. One year. It was a good year, yes, but he didn't exactly impress me when he and the Trojans came up short at Oregon State last season. Some have said USC wasn't exactly focused when they took their rock-star act into Corvallis. Hey, pretty boy: try that when the Jets roll into Foxboro, or Dallas, or even Kansas City. Any defensive player from a big, fast lineman to a blizting safety would love to show the world how you look after getting pummeled compared to your summer-time GQ spread!
Now, to be fair, I have no problem with guys doing photo spreads. I just think that if you're a soon-to-be pro athlete, you should have some creds other than being a pretty boy.
So come on, rook, go out there and prove me wrong!

Oops, I forgot one..

My lovely wife, Mary, brought this to my attention: I also covered the 2006 Holiday Bowl, where A&M got whacked by Marshawn Lynch and Cal. I don't know how I forgot that one--seeing as how I edited my final report from there in a record 7-minutes!

"Glass" Weeks

Those of you know know we well know I'm just a little bit enthralled with Fantasy Baseball--no heart of glass when it comes to that. Well, Brewers 2nd-baseman doesn't have a heart of glass either--but his wrists sure seem to qualify. Once again, Weeks will miss significant time because of a wrist injury--this time, he'll miss the rest of the season. Talk about chronic. "Glass wrists", you might way. I've had him on two previous fantasy teams, and both times he helped me only in spurts, and one of those times it was at the end of the season when he really hit a hot streak. The rest of the time his stats infuriated me. Low BA, high strikeouts, wasted spot in the line-up. I didn't go near him this year--I already had the Rangers' Ian Kinsler as a keeper. But guys like that aren't worth it as a back-up either, because you want your back-up to be sturdy--remember, Kinsler missed the last month-and-a-half of the season with a sports hernia, so he's not exactly Cal Ripken-like, either.
So, raise your "glass", baseball fans.

Lady Bears Softball Update..

Looks like Glenn Moore's crew will get some national love: ESPN will televise BU's super regional opener at Michigan On Saturday.

Start 'er up!

"DSG".. hmm. You ask, "What does it mean?"
Simple. It's one of the first lines I used on my wife when I was courting her. She asked me what my college degree was, and I said I earned a "DSG". Perplexed, she asked me to elaborate, and I told her it stood for "Dumb Sports Guy". That doesn't mean I think sports are dumb. No, quite the opposite. It's just a way to poke fun at myself--which gives me license to poke fun at whoever else I want--since I get it first, I can return serve.
So, what will I talk about?
Sports.
More sports.
Some more sports.
And, a just about everything else that happens between sporting events.
I have the creds to back it up: 21-years as a TV Sportscaster and radio show co-host. I've worked two Rose Bowls, an Orange Bowl, a Fiesta Bowl, two Cotton Bowls, and the 1999 Independence Bowl--which happened to be THE LAST football game of the 20th-century (I was in the Independence Bowl press box in Shreveport when the Y2K scare didn't happen!). Among those bowl games, three of those involved teams playing for the national championship, and fittingly, the teams I was covering for each respective game won (1996 Fiesta Bowl, Nebraska; 2001 Orange Bowl, Oklahoma; and, 2006 Rose Bowl, Texas). I've also covered the Dallas Cowboys during their 1993 Super Bowl victory season, a Final Four, a College Baseball World Series, a College Softball World Series, a golf major, and many others. The point is: I know what I'm talking about. I'm not a stat nerd, but I do have a great memory for the people that play the games and the teams that they played for--and to me, it's about the people. And for the people.
I'm getting to be the same way about politics, about finance, and about my faith. I'll chime in just about all of these from time to time. If you like it, fine. If you don't, that's equally fine. The great thing about America is that we all have a right to our opinion not matter how right or wrong it is, and the right to express it--so long as it doesn't deliberately damage somebody's reputation and/or livelihood. That's what's called "actual malice", and I'm a lot of things, but I'm not malicious. But I will call a spade a spade, or a club a club, a diamond a diamond.. uh, you get the picture.
So, with that, we're started. Now for some gas--as in my first ascertainment: the NBA season is ENTIRELY TOO LONG! For goodnes sake, it's the middle of May--springtime, flowers, thunderstorms, and that means baseball and softball OUTSIDE.. not an arena INSIDE!! Not in an indoor arena where they've been playing since NOVEMBER!!! Look, I love basketball. I played it for years. I still love watching it--from about January through April. But into late June? Yeah, that's when the finals are!! And then, there's what, a four-month off-season before practice starts in October and the first exhibition games around Halloween? Forget about it. I'm out. I watch because I HAVE to watch--it's an occupational hazard. But don't think for a minute I'm there because I want to be!